losing ground Options

[fenwick]

Been unhappy for about two years,now. Not sure when all this happened.
It just seems to have grown into-----nothing.

Brian had surgery back in March. I believe the Lord was totally with him.
Not so much my hubby. His faith has seemed to have died. Don't know
how to help him. Plus it isn't helping our marriage.
After 34 years of marriage,church is the last thing on his mind.
We always went to church,plus made sure the children knew
about the Lord. Raising them as the Lord would want us too.
Just don't understand why,he won't talk about it. I know he's
been thru alot,the last couple of years. To totally to stop going
to church,huh?
Pray alot for our relationship. We both looked to the Lord for
answers,now we have different paths.
The Lord has been there so clearly,why doesn't he SEE that
anymore?
Advice,please.

[Phoenix]

Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time.

If you're so inclined I would recommend this recent series called Come Home.

http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/walk-in...t-archives.html

There a few additional parts in the series that won't come up directly in that link. If you click on the " series "
button and then the second one down " come home " you'll see each part from the beginning.

It deals with ourselves and those we know/love that occasionally wander away from God.

Here's a description of a few of the parts-

If you click on each part it will open a new window with a play now button. Each part is about 20 minutes or so.

Has anyone you've known wandered away from God? They once loved and followed Christ and now they're AWOL. What happened? Are they OK? Why haven't they returned? This compassionate message from James MacDonald takes James 5:19-20 to heart: My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. God longs for His children to return to Him. Go get the wanderer. Go get them and bring them home. A compelling message of hope...

Others may not know it, but deep inside you know you're not in a good place with God. Maybe you used to be. Maybe you never intentionally left, but today, if you were completely honest, you would say you're far away from God. But you would like to come back. The problem is you're afraid of what kind of reception you'd get. Will you be turned away? Will you be harshly criticized? The prospect of it keeps you away even today. If this is your story in any way, join James MacDonald in this up close look at another wanderer - someone who really messed up - and how the Lord lovingly pursued him, gave him new purpose for living, and welcomed him home. Leave fear behind and come home.

Christians don't generally set out to doubt God. They don't bring their faith into question without reason. For most of us, life's pain simply catches us off guard. The reality of hardship trips us up and we get in our own way. Before we know it, we're far from God and the faith we once held with both hands. But I still want to believe - I've just got these questions. Bring your questions directly to the Lord. Doubt can lead to faith because God's Word and God's character can stand under the most microscopic scrutiny. If you're a doubter, come on in. Questions can get put to rest in the company of people who will stir your faith and love you back. If you are a doubter, gather up in your mind the issues that challenge your faith and join James MacDonald in this open discussion about what keeps you far from home. Leave your doubt behind and come home.

[Citizen]

Been unhappy for about two years,now. Not sure when all this happened.
It just seems to have grown into-----nothing.

Brian had surgery back in March. I believe the Lord was totally with him.
Not so much my hubby. His faith has seemed to have died. Don't know
how to help him. Plus it isn't helping our marriage.
After 34 years of marriage,church is the last thing on his mind.
We always went to church,plus made sure the children knew
about the Lord. Raising them as the Lord would want us too.
Just don't understand why,he won't talk about it. I know he's
been thru alot,the last couple of years. To totally to stop going
to church,huh?
Pray alot for our relationship. We both looked to the Lord for
answers,now we have different paths.
The Lord has been there so clearly,why doesn't he SEE that
anymore?
Advice,please.

Hi fenwick, dear sister ... my heart goes out to you

I suspect your husband may be going through a sort of depression. He may be disappointed in God, or he may be disappointed in himself; but I'll bet there is a lot going on inside of him, sorting through his thoughts and feelings and beliefs.

I'm sorry it leaves you feeling shut out and helpless

I think the best thing you can do for him is to give him a little space; continue to go to church for yourself without pushing him too much; and pray, pray, pray. There is a book call The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian - that might be good for you. I'd be happy to send you a copy if you'd like.

Please know I'm praying for you both

[fenwick]

Thanks both of you for some advice. Look at the page,Phoenix. Plus that book,Citizen.
Never push Dean to go back to church. That's his decision to make. Between the Lord
and him.
I'm just saying I hurt for him. He's such a wonderful man and father. Just simply
don't understand why? He knows I'm here,if he wants to talk. Just think he can only
see the bad things,right now. We all need our time to mourn,think,search,etc.
No matter how long it takes,we are here for each other.
Hopefully OUR paths will join again,w/the Lord leading the way. Like always.
Again,thanks for listening. The Lord knows what lays on our hearts,even
before we ask. Amen.

[ScarletKY]

I'm sure God is working on him. I was also thinking of the "... Praying Wife" book. It's very insightful. I know I've been through periods like what your husband is going through. The name of this forum says it all... it's a "relationship" with God. Relationships have ups and downs. You aren't guaranteed an easy and always happy road. Another great book to check out is "Peaks and Valleys" by Spencer Johnson. The website is here. It's not a Christian-specific book... but it certainly applies to the situation. This book really changed my point of view for many areas of my life.

Praying with you and for you.

[Daywalker]

I stopped going to church too. I quit partly because I have no AC and it was miserably hot, but that was not the big reasons. Largely the people from the big church were celebratinghalloween, that is they put on costumes, showed up, went through the motions and that was the end of it. The way they shook hands and seemed pleasant for a moment made me think I should be shooting money out of some part of me. Let the minister say his last word and these people hit the door with the fervor of a jet plane, and the parking lot was empty like a fire drill had happened. I figured what is the point of wasting my time coming here when there would never be any relationship with anyone. I have a few personal problems that are currently kicking my rear bigtime and I needed someone to talk to, without friction burns and it was not going to happen. Rather than waste 20 miles of gas one way with a 429 engine, best stay home.

The last time I went to a church the minister in this place was screaming like a bansee and smashing his fist on the podium. I got up and left. No one else had the nerve to leave, after me seven others could not take his tirade any longer. He also condemned anyone who got up out of their seats for injuring the holy spirit and sending people to hell. It didn't take much to figure out that wherever the holy spirit was it was not in that room at that time.

I do my own thing right now.